12.08.2013

A Toast to Jim's Roast


Thank you J.R. 
The only guy I know who could be so gracious
while getting roasted to a fine crisp.






"Closer To Jim"

(sung to the tune of Jim's favorite Indigo Girls song) 

I'm trying to tell you something about Jim’s life
Maybe give you some insight about what he’s like.
The best thing he’s ever done for me
Is to help me see he takes his life very seriously, very seriously, 
yeah.

Well Jim has a hunger that's insatiable
To make sure everyone knows that he is capable
Of kicking your ass and mine if he needs to
I’m not sure why but it might be because he’s 
shorter than the average guy.

He married the girl who beat him at Diplomacy,
He had two children, he hates to go outside.
There's only one answer to every question
No, says Jim, no and no.
The less I talk about myself oh yeah
The closer I am to Jim.

He went to see the doctor of Psychiatry,
She suggested he look into sociopathology
In order to find out more about himself,
She helped him develop an algorithm
to convince everyone he is 
King of the Nerds.

He rates himself a 98%
When it comes to everything but yes,
He used to have a mullet and black leather pants
Making all the nerdy girls sweat and stutter,
Especially those named Gretchen.

He married the girl who beat him at Diplomacy,
He had two children, he hates to go outside.
There's only one answer to every question
No, says Jim, no and no.
The less I talk about myself oh yeah
The closer I am to Jim.

But now he’s your average middle age guy
With foot fungus, a mortgage, and two 3D printers,
Making slot machines for gambling addicts
Wondering if there’s more to life than looking forward
to the next Maker Faire.

So he has some ties to the mafia,
An east coaster who went to a fancy private school,
But he’s tweaked his algorithm, painted half his house,
managed to find himself a group of friends
who accept him for what he really is,
God of Seej.

A game that uses 3D printed bricks
to build walls and fortresses for geeks to shoot down
with copper pennies slung from 3D printed sling-shots,
Believe me, people notice
when he walks through the convention center 
wearing his Seej t-shirt. 

He married the girl who beat him at Diplomacy,
He had two children, he hates to go outside.
There's only one question I have to ask,
And he’ll talk to me all day long,
How was jujitsu?
How was jujitsu?

How was jiu-jitsu class today, Jim?




1 comment:

  1. Yes, The Dolphin took it in stride.

    ReplyDelete