I was feeling strange,
anxious and feverish with sudden bouts of euphoria
followed by debilitating self-doubt.
Menopausal, said my friends at the coffee shop.
A full time job will cure you, advised my husband.
I was easily distracted,
Prone to attacks of wild inspiration,
Followed by days of boredom and lethargy.
I jumped from one project to the next,
Beginning everything, finishing nothing.
ADHD said my friend with OCD.
OCD said my friend with ADHD.
I got the spins contemplating
This eternity of dead-ends.
Finally, I went to see the doctor. She was kindly, beautiful and solid.
She took my blood pressure, pressed on my abdomen.
She looked in my ears and down my throat and asked me a myriad of questions.
Finally, she put her hand on mine and cinched her brow with concern.
"There are a few more tests I'd like to run, but my first instinct is that you have
a terminal case of whimsy."
Terminal? I asked. As in, there is no cure?
I'm very sorry, she said. I wish I could give you better news.
She took my blood pressure, pressed on my abdomen.
She looked in my ears and down my throat and asked me a myriad of questions.
Finally, she put her hand on mine and cinched her brow with concern.
"There are a few more tests I'd like to run, but my first instinct is that you have
a terminal case of whimsy."
Terminal? I asked. As in, there is no cure?
I'm very sorry, she said. I wish I could give you better news.
Dr. NDL is here to give you a second opinion, or at least a second prognosis on that very good news. What a way to go! and we all have to you know. According to the PDR, which usually rests under the computer desk to support my aging arthritic ankle, those living with Whimsy, which is indeed terminal, can expect a very long life lived more fully due to a slanted perspective not enjoyed by those uninfected with a case of Whimsy. Occasional bouts of euphoria and self-doubt are to be expected and vacillations between wild inspiration, boredom and lethargy are perfectly normal for one with this condition.
ReplyDeleteAnxiety, along with muddling, flippancy and fragmentation, is invaluable in helping those with Whimsy work through problems often caused by wild inspiration, and should be embraced.
However, if you experience more than five days of exclusively coloring with crayons, playing banjo or drums, or escaping into a novel you should consult your physician (Dr. NDL) who will tell you that it is okay as long as you throw the kids some peanut butter sandwiches once or twice a day.
Create something and call me in the morning.
XO, L
Dear Dr. NDL,
DeleteThank you for the updated prognosis. It sounds like you have had quite a bit of experience with this condition. I appreciate your support. Perhaps a messy desk should be embraced as well??
Popcorn for dinner anyone?
jkd
OMG...is it genetically transmitted? (keep and eye on those rascals) is it contagious? can you get a patent? a copyright? can you confess it on national TV? local access cable? have you tried cycling?
ReplyDeleteHow can I get more of it?
Grandpa John
I'm afraid I might have caught a spell of it from your offspring which means you are partially to blame. And no, it will not make you wealthy, as your offspring knows all too well.
DeleteThank God, we now have a certified medical opinion! I've been waiting years for an official diagnosis. SInce there is no treatment or cure for my daughter's condition, I'm going to dig more deeply into a cure for my self-inflicted anxiety. Yoga, anyone?
ReplyDelete