Ode to Biffy

Some may wonder what ever happened to Biffy.  She was here and then she was gone.  Biffy is like that, a chameleon, a snake, a viper, a cloud, a flower.  Biffy is all the things that worry us late at night and all the things that make us laugh in the daylight.  Biffy is simply Biffy, a conundrum, a quirk, a quagmire, a flirt.  She is Aunt Lynn's nemesis.  You never know where Biffy might turn up: at the grocery, at the library, at the bank, at the movies?!  And if you are so lucky to find her, sing to her an ode that begins, "Biffy, oh Biffy, where have you been?" and ends, "Biffy, oh Biffy, here you are!" and has some verses in the middle that each conclude with a "La, la, la!"  There is nothing Biffy likes more than being sung to in public, especially quiet places where singing of any sort (and admiring odes in particular) makes people very nervous. Biffy is as Biffy was and will forever be even if she is no longer Biffy and is someone else entirely.  Keep searching, my friend, and you will find that Biffy is exactly where you always knew but never could figure out who and why she always was.


Bigsley and Bernadette: Obligations

Bernadette explained how the artist's mother 
is depending on him to convince her 
that her daughter isn't going crazy.

"Tell her I'm busy," replied Bigsley.


So Here's the Truth About the Real Work of an Artist

You will try a bunch of stuff and most of it is not going to work out.  And the stuff that does work out, most likely, no one is really going to notice, or even care.  And at first, that’s really discouraging, but then you learn to accept it because you love what you are doing and you care, so you keep going and you keep experimenting because what you love most is the discovery of  “What can I do with this?” and “How can I express this old idea in a new way?” and "What happens when I put that next to this?"  And sometimes, you get on a roll and you have this incredible momentum of thoughts and ideas and production and at that point, the most poisonous thing is the fantasies that rise, of being discovered, of being celebrated, of being known for your work.  Because inevitably, you get a call from your parents who tell you that your recent stuff has taken a turn for the worse and that they find it depressing and that they know you are losing your audience and that they are afraid that you are losing your mind and that they wish you would focus on one thing like those cute bird cartoons you used to do.  “Everyone liked those,” they remind you.  And even though you know they love you and want the best for you and even though you want them to be honest, right?, you can’t help but feel wronged, right here in the same spot where you feel the unfettered waves of energy pouring forth when you are the most inspired, the spot that now calcifies into a hard little pit because you are afraid they might be right.  Maybe you are a fool.  Maybe you are losing your mind.  Maybe everyone is shaking their heads and saying, “What a pity that she isn’t doing those cute bird cartoons anymore.”  Maybe you even cry.  But then you remember that your father-in-law told you, just the other night how much he likes what you are doing and to keep it up, so you send him an email thanking him for being appreciative, and “by the way, thanks for the wild turkey,” the one he cut from a poster and sent to the kids, the one he was worried was lost in the mail.  “It got here,” you write, “but strangely without a postmark, instead, across the two stamps. . . .” And just then, as you are about to describe how across the two stamps, American flags both, one saying “Liberty,” the other “Freedom,” that across those, someone had scribbled a black wavy line as if saying, “No.” And because you practice everyday, your mind is agile and makes a connection to the turkey your father-in-law sent in the envelope with those stamps and that little hard pit you felt when your parents told you that you are not living up to their expectations, dissolves into a vision, a collage, a commentary on the state of America, with the wild turkey speaking those stamps and all around a ridiculous array of products that we are constantly being force fed Free Shipping 50% Off Entertaining Essentials and you grab a scissors and dig through the recycling for those catalogs – the incessant stream of advertising that lands in your mailbox everyday and makes you mad, but today makes you glad because you are going to take them and rearrange them into a piece of art that you feel passionate about, that you care about because that is the real work of an artist, not becoming famous, not winning awards, not pleasing your parents or anyone else for that matter, except you.  So, always remember, keep practicing and listen to your first cousin when he says, “While it’s kind of deflating because they’re our parents and we really want them to like and support what we do, we can’t let that stop us from doing what we’re passionate about.  So I say, keep posting existentialist poems juxtaposed with severed rabbit heads, dammit!”



Was it something I ate, 
Or something someone said? 
Why do I suddenly feel so strange? 
Maybe if I were more focused, 
I wouldn't feel so divided. 

Life used to be simple, 
before there were so many distractions.
I can't help but be nostalgic.  
Less is more, the saying goes, 
but what is there when there's nothing?


Mid-Western Housewife Feels Cool When Twenty-Something Friend Claims She's the Coolest Forty-Year-Old She Knows

Even though Janet Kay Delmar is pushing 43, she reported feeling "very cool" when her friend Emma Kelly Mickelson called out, "You're the coolest forty-year-olds I know!" before leaving Delmar's party on Friday. "I think there was only guy there who was actually 40," Delmar said.  "But still, we all took it as a high compliment."

Delmar, along with her friends, Timmy Norman and Marcus Tuscany (both older than Delmar) showcased their band at the party.  "We've been playing together for a couple of years now, so we wanted to play for our friends," Delmar explained.  Norman also reported feeling good about being called cool by someone so young.  "Sometimes you wonder if kids like that even know you exist." Tuscany though expressed some dismay that Mickelson didn't realize he is closer to fifty.  "If she knew how old we really are, would she still think we are cool?"

When asked if Mickelson was the coolest twenty-something Delmar knows, Delmar admitted she doesn't know that many twenty-somethings.  "We mostly hang out with people who have kids, and most twenty-year-olds aren't too interested in that.  So yeah, I'd have to say she is because she is willing to hang out with us."

Norman, Delmar, and Tuscany being cool.


E.B.R. #1 - Results

Thank you for your patience and for coming to the show.  
We appreciate your understanding while we continue to grow.
Performing is more scary than posting a drawing.  
Everyone's a witness to every foolish utterance.  
Thank you for listening and for drinking and for laughing.  
Thank you for supporting the strange breed of improv.


Tiny Song #1894, take two

Sometimes it's hard
to know what to say,

The perfect words
refuse to appear.

They tell me it's green,
when I know that it's red.

All these things you believe
are just in your head.

tad neuhaus, guitar
joanna dane, vocals


Experiment #1

The experiment is on-going. No one knows what the experiment is about or what the results will be. It is not the first experiment, nor will it be the last. It is labeled otherwise for convenience sake. Everyone is a participant in the experiment. This makes 93% of the participants nervous. At the mention of the word "experiment," most participants envision test tubes and flasks though no test tubes nor flasks will be used. However, not having test tubes or flasks does not preclude them from not being used at some future point, if deemed necessary. Even though it is understood that all experiments are valuable whether they fail or succeed, most all participants feel embarrassed by failed experiments.  This embarrassment should have no impact on the experiment, even though it does, especially when a successful experiment, to some participants, continues to be a failure.