The Woman of His Dreams

Her face, he knew would be beautiful because, she said, modestly, that others had always said that about her. He had no reason not to believe her. He had had so many conversations with people all over the world. He was not naive. He was college educated, a professional. He made good money and wore a suit to work everyday. He told her so. And it made her happy.

It started very casually, but quickly, they discovered that they had so much in common and got along so well. They had exactly the same sense of humor. He felt comfortable telling her everything, how he dreamed of buying a little house with a front porch and a fireplace, a house where they could eat together and sleep together, a house by a lake where they could take long walks together holding hands and laughing. Maybe they could even get a dog, though he didn't like dogs very much, but she did, he knew. And it made her very happy.

She told him things that made him very sad. She had had a complicated and hard life and many people, maybe because she was so beautiful, had tried to take advantage of her, and it made his heart hurt to hear these things. His heart had never hurt like that before. And he promised that her life with him would only be full of joy and ease, that he was a very simple man, that he liked his coffee however it was served to him and that he went to the movies once a week no matter what was playing and that he ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches everyday for lunch. And she laughed, "Haha!" and that made him smile :)

Sometimes they went for hours without communicating and that would make him think about her even more, and the dreams, vague at first, started to fill with more and more details that he could never wait to share with her. Finally, he had found the woman of his dreams, finally he could be happy and never lonely. Finally she could be safe and free.

He began to believe in things he didn't know he believed in, like fate, and the power of positive thinking. He was grateful for each and every thing had that had ever happened to him, even his mom throwing out his entire t-shirt collection which had stung for so long, which he swore he would never forgive. But he understood the butterfly effect and knew that if it wasn't for every single thing that had ever happened to him, then he never would have met her. He tried to explain this all to her, and even though he wasn't very good with words, and English was not her best language, she got it ;)

He knew it was for real, finally, these feelings he had always hear other people talking about, but never had experienced for himself.  Something had always gotten in the way, like bad breath, or a horribly loud laugh, or incessant talking about old boyfriends. But she was so perfect it took his breath away and nearly made him cry when he had to say goodbye each evening.  XOXOXOXO.  He knew it was real because it was the same feeling he had when he watched a really great movie. 

The day finally came when she said that everything had been arranged, that she could fly the very next month to meet him. He sent her the check because it was cheaper for her to buy the flight there and included some extra money to settle some affairs that needed settling before she could leave. He was ecstatic. Everyone at the office noticed, and it made him blush like a kid. It was the happiest day of his life, the day she told him that she got the check and bought the ticket. He had two weeks to prepare.

He spent the entire weekend cleaning his apartment and bought a set of peach colored sheets and matching towels and a new see-through shower curtain. He made reservations and then canceled, at three different restaurants, because he couldn't decide on which she would like best. He mulled for hours on whether she would prefer just to go back to his place and order take-out. He practiced his best laugh and greeted her a thousand times in the mirror. He bought a new shirt and had it laundered twice. He got a haircut and a shave at the barber and had his car professionally cleaned. And in a final moment of brilliance, he bought ten scented candles for the bedroom and two dozen roses which he carried to the airport.

He was confused at first when she was wasn't there. But then, the confusion turned to concern. Something terrible must have happened. But as the days turned to weeks without hearing another word from her, he grew angry and then bitter, though what persisted was disappointment shadowed by clouds of embarrassment.

1 comment:

  1. compelling and painful. Grandpa John