Bigsley and Bernadette: New Age Wisdom

"Hey, what's going on over there? You sick or something? I haven't heard a peep out of you for hours. Not like you're a gasbag to begin with, but it's getting kind of lonely over here, you know?"  Bigsley landed on a branch in Bernadette's tree to get a closer look. "Are you kidding?  Meditation?  Just think about it for a second. Empty your mind? Where does that get you? Tagged by the DNR and gobbled up by the cat, that's where.  If you want to stay alive, you've got to be alert. And I'll tell you this, Sweet Heart. You've got to be firing on all cylinders if you want to be alert. You've got to activate every thought you've ever had.  I swear. The crazy ideas people come up with these days.  Like all this bird turd about breathing. It's involuntary, Baby. Get it? I don't need to pay attention to it because my body does it for me without me having to think about it. Brilliant! So why waste a perfectly good afternoon thinking about something as boring as your breath when you could be hanging out with me?"

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