After taking a break, it is difficult to get started again. It is the Sunday after Thanksgiving. The relatives are gone. I am reading randomly from The Collected Writings of Joe Brainard. He writes a diary of mundane things, what he had for breakfast, the details of sunbathing and going out to eat by himself. For reasons I can not explain, I like to read this, more than I like reading some beautifully rendered fiction. He writes about smoking and drinking coffee. I am drinking coffee and eating chocolate.
I am not sure why, but it is difficult to get back into the creative spirit after not being in the creative spirit even for a day, let alone four. Yesterday, I forced myself to wake up very early because I didn't stay out late with A. and S. and should have because J. and C. came to the club and played music to weird videos and that sounded very fun. But instead I went to bed at 9, so I made myself wake up early and sit on the couch in the dark writing what might be some lyrics. Then I fell back asleep until the grandmas woke up.
Later, when I was feeling bad about not staying out the night before, I thought maybe those lyrics will turn into a great song and then it will be worth it. But reading over the lyrics, I see they aren't that great. But sometimes, there are great surprises.
A. said maybe different art forms are just different - that people don't accept playing around with musical instruments the way we accept playing around with paint and clay because they are different. My mom suggested that most people give up on their lessons because they realize that it takes a lot of hard work and dedication and that they don't have the time or desire to include that in their lives. And many people, I suppose, take a break and are never able to get started again because so often what we encounter is so mundane.